Wednesday, February 13, 2008

28 day fever (Or five day fever, part fouru with pichars moru)

Read Parts 1, 2 and 3 here.

Day 28. I parked near the construction mela like I do almost every day and peered over the edge. In a heartening show of solidarity, college students were pitching in to complete what trained, paid masons were struggling to do. They had even set up a helpdesk to explain the convoluted traffic plan to the public. Some pro-active Bangaloreans at last! Such a relief from the usual jaded, moaning lot!

Manipuri artists were creating sun-patterned frescoes along the walls. Painters were giving a final coat to the concrete. The errant bulldozer was smoothening out slopes in a calm, lobotomized manner. The wronged crane was nowhere to be seen. A group of 60-something gentlemen were standing atop the underpass, fingers pointing in every direction, giving a hapless supervisor a piece of their collective intellect:

"Allappa, hing craas aag katsi yen sukha bantu?" (But young man, like this crooked you build means what comfort has come?)
"Ishtu chikka bridge mel yenaiya madthiya? Shuttle-badminton aadthiyenu?" (On such a small bridge what lord you will do? Shuttle badminton playinga?)
"Haiyyo, yen katsthaaro, bidthaaro. Thale iddru upyogsalla saar ivru. Eega idara mel bussu, gissu, maNNu masi, ella band sikakond bitre devre gathi ."(Haiyyo, what they will build, what they will leave. Head is there also means they will not use sar. Now bus, giss and several similar sundry objects will come and get stuck on top of this means god is only recourse.)
"This is vy country has gaan for daags sar. Aal these peepal musht be lined up and shaat I tell you. "

"Sir ond nimisha, bande" (Sir, one minute coming), said the long suffering supervisor, and vanished into the underpass with the old biddies harumphing after him.

I studied the student helpdesk's thermocol plan (slightly soggy after a cloudburst), and noticed that my dancing fountain idea to entertain gridlocked commuters on the U-turn atop the underpass, was not included. I advised the student body to undertake installation activites immediately. Grim studently silence ensued. Nevertheless, I managed to get a fair idea of what the traffic plan is going to be, and this, I think is it (fountain optional):

But sob!!! All the action will be be over in a couple of days and I will miss it sorely! What on earth will I do now, without squint eyed supervisors, mad machinery and genteel crowds to blog about? Sniff!

I will therefore leave you with an ode composed in memory of the birth of the Cauvery Junction Magic Box Underpass, before I go away and cry myself to sleep:

Under passu
You will help to crassu
The road without laassu.

Of your ingenious planu
I am a fanu
And so is my clanu.

So my magic baaxu,
Pull up your saacksu
Because you provide irrefutable proof that Benglur raacksu.

43 comments:

maami said...

Your blog also rocksu

Karan said...

Bwahahahaha.

Bugger I really enjoy reading your blog. It's different that I wonder how insane you are to actually go see these things, but still.

Oh, and seriously, does the underpass make sense to you?

anoushka taraporewala said...

waaah maami stole my line

my first reaction, after i read your bloggu is that it rocksu

so there!

rads said...

lol! ok. I have to ask this. What do u use to make all your visual funnies? I need to know. :)

Ajay said...

Wokay... I was Akchuli waiting for this blog cuz I kinda was guessing you would come up with another blog on the "Under-passu", to throw some more light on the proceedings....

Yeh...no need to lament on its completion, go check out more Infrastructure projects (which by the way conjures up an image of starkly chaotic traffic and dingy mess all around)in and around Namma Bengaluru..and that should fuel your blogathon :)

plush said...

"caar caar yelnodlii caar"...lol...adhu optional allapa..innenu ildhe idhru..adhu beke beku!

Prats said...

great updateu....
but bi monthly thara aagidhe...but waiting for your updates...and you traffic re-routing designs....wah !!

10yearslate said...

Ull-ree, bhaaL impaartant maath bagge heLa-lilla!

Aen hesr id-baek ee under-pass ge?

Vinamratheyinda thumbiruva nanna yochane..

TaN..TaN..Te..TaNNN!

"Hyder Ali SipaayigaLa underpaasu"

Heng haeL-ree?

Kavitha said...

lol all the way
Have a Happy V Day!

Rekha said...

Haha.. I was missing your updates on the underpassu.. so I had to check with my mother who assured me that the underpassu was not yet completed. Very happy to hear that it is finally done. Loved the illustrations too. They might just be better than the plans those guys made before building the underpassu

RustyNeurons said...

your ode rocksu....

Bikerdude said...

maami: Thanks! Yours also ma, yours also. full mutual admiration society this is becoming, no?

karan: what men, from uncle to bugger i became off aa? yes solpa mad only what to do. the underpass is ok, except it wont work unless three more are built on the same road. god knows when or if that will happen.

anoushka: thanks men, so nice of y'all.

rads: I draw on paper, then carefully arrange coloured string along the outlines in desired shapes, take a photograph, print it, mail it to myself, scan it, take a deep breath, say Jaiii byadara bomma and post it. Tough work ma, kindly appreciate no? thenk you. PS: Part of the answer to your quesiton lies in one of the words of the koschan only. Ok va? ok.

ajay: dont worry madkobeda pa. soon all yevverything will be ok. am highly excited about all the new infrastructure projects coming up. But in the meantime youre right we will have to deal with quite a mess indeed!

plush: Allveyyyyy!! naanu eshto heli nodide, yaaru helovrilla kelovrilla. yen madona heli.

pryatsu: oh hauda. hangadre, dont worry madkobedi. as soon as this one is over I will provide tri-weekly updates on the next underpass situated half a km away :P

10yearslate: Bhal besht hesar kottideer bidri. Eegle hogi gode mel geechbit barthene thaali :)

kavitha: Tyanks ma and the same to you!

rekha: heh thanks. yeah its a good idea to check with your mom rather than brave the diverted traffic right now!

rusty: tumba tyanks. sadya ode-ge yen banthu kedu anth keLlilvalla :)

SloganMurugan said...

Not to worry Saaru,
The action will shiftu
To Sanjaynagar and Palace Gutthalli Crossu

rads said...

lol, ok ok. top secret work me thinksu. :)

I love Lucy said...

Yes yes...correctu.
You are a rockshtar.
You rocksu.

narendra shenoy said...

Whether bengalooru raacks aar naat, I yam raacking with laaftre I say. Gaad Blessu. Please excuse language lapsu, if any.

narendra shenoy said...

Aalso, please be posting medical advise, not recommended reading this blaag when bladder is fullu.

Anu said...

Was in Bangalore recently...so was able to enjoy moru and laugh my head off...as usual!

BTW what is your reactionu to the renegade bikers on sidewalks -(footpath?)

U see we were going to Forum to get to PVR to see TZP and were caught in a jam at the top of the road and we see this biker merrily zooming off on the sidewalk - cool as a southekai?????

Pri said...

karen: it is inappropriate to call random people [especially elders] 'bugger'.

Anonymous said...

"Hyder Ali sipaayigaLa underpaasu" antha hesar ittr saalangill-ree.

Hogtha-bartha aa kade ee kade Onake Obavva-na statue nindhrs bek-ri, hogo baro car-gaadi myaag ondh baarsaak!

Aen-antheeri?

Bit Hawk said...

Waat funny thingsu you come up withu I say! :)

perspective said...

you are really good... this is the only post I've read so far... and am looking forward to spending many a hours reading more...
lol.. you put me in splits!!!!

P.S: I love the dancing fountain idea . Its a great solution to the forthcoming traffic jams! :) :)

Abhipraya said...

Dude you are funny! So much that you are inspiring others to be so :D "Hyder Ali sipayigala underpasu" with "onake obavva's statues on either side" Whaatenidea! Great history lesson to be taught at traffic jams.

All the digging up around us is atleast fodder for such entertainment at you able hands. very glad :)

chronicworrier said...

Boss you're a raakshtar. Funny after funny after funny..how do you do it I say?

Vijay said...

I am sorely tempted to come there for an inspection... trying to gather courage to drive over...

Preeth said...

Long time no visit and look what ur upto.lol. Awesome dude.Need to come down and give the magic box a dekko me thinks.

Karan said...

Ok, so before the jobless news channels make a major controversy of this also, I apologize for calling the older citizen 'bugger'.

Henceforth he shall be referred to differently.

Siri said...

Oh my my! Hats off to your Bengaloorean lau saar.
I read all three parts and eet ees being super funny.

That is whaii we need more Gandhivaadis I say. When BMP people woke up Rip Van Winkle style and suddenly drew off plans to put instant flyover and all at Basavangudi, all our retired thaatas and ajjis and professor contingents from NCB/NCJ went off to wag fingers at BMP. They didn't relent of coooorse, but they now know better than to try selling Magix box, magic potty ideas at us South Bengalurians. Eega, nimmanna hiDkondiddare!

PS- Dancing fountain idea is brrrriiilliant vonly. If they install one overnight, (it fits well with the running rationale)you must claim Intellectual Rights! (We will aaaalll support!)

Anonymous said...

i love you!

Bikerdude said...

sloganmurugan: Devronly should kapad when that happens. Atleast before and all some nugging gigging we could do and come off. Now full shtruck up only.

rads: gaaahahaha correct. I use combination of MS paint and Visio ma. moshtly former only.

I Love Lucy: Hey welcome back. Yell hodri isht divsa?

narendrashenoy: Aiyo so kind I say, very flottered is being an I. Sorry for the incontinence.

anu: I love them I say. My uncle is a dedicated biker (bicyclist) too. I am also going to hit cycle only from wed onwards when sankey road will be jammed completely with the next underpass. Uff.

pri: sollu ma nalla sollu. PS: Bleddys for calling me elder and all. oho.

anon: heh excellent idea. and the size of the underpass is perfect size for obavva's onake. PS, apparently BMP is making back all the money they spent within a month, as companies are clamouring for advertisement space all around it.

bit hawk: thyanks pa. by the way I saw dus kahaniyaan after reading your review on it and laughed my head off at each scene thinking about the stuff youd written in your post!

perspective, abhipraya, chronicworrier: thanks so much I say :)

vijay, preeth: Thanks! Come off I say, I will give coffee kodbale.

karan: Aaaaan hang ba darige. uncle gincle antha matte kardre ankle mursbidthene bee cayerful (Uncle gincle and all again call off means ankle only I will break off bee cayerfful). Aaaaan. ;)

siri: God help the poor BMP if they have to deal with the Basvangudi uncles to build an underpass there. One dog too many in that manger! I remember the fuss they kicked up over the national college flyover. Sheesh. By the way I think a couple of places in gandhi bazar can really do with the magic box. Using a cow as a roundabout (ala netkalappa circle) is charming, but doesn't work any more! And yeah no? reg dancing fountain. Anybody appi thappi akasmath by chance puts it off without paying me copyright fees means thats all.

anon: hae what a lovely! see this is why i blog, you follow? :) thank you ma/pa for making my day.

anoushka taraporevala said...

hmmmmm just when i thought it could get no better, a sun appears on the horizon (or under it, in this case) they imported folks from manipur to do it, aa? only in aesthetic bangalore that can happen. in mumbai they would put bathroom tiles.

Penguin said...

Ayyo! If only I knew coffee kodbale was being given free for Magic Box visit, I would've chucked friend's wedding and come off ya! Che! Full late I'm finding out. Orrey sigh is happening.

Anonymous said...

marry me!

Prats said...

So what you say for today's opening??? I'm all grinning, full teeth showing and all...I reduce my travel time by nearly 20 mins.....and also get to c ur louly fountain *how i wish, they would look at ur deisgn appa...che!! no brains only for them *

Bikerdude said...

anoushka: No I think the manipuri artists are are volunteers (students or ppl working here). Heh abt the bathroom tiles. if its any consolation, the beautiful Udupi Krishna Matha has recently been faced with them :P

penguin: heh never too late for coffee kodbale I say :)

anonymous: Ahem. Err ok. Could use the dowry actually.

prats: Yess! Looks nice. Sadly our joy will be short lived as the next flyover work is starting today :( Apparently they are building 5 more underpasses all the way to MG road to ensure signal free travel. Sounds too good to be true if you ask me!

Thinking aloud said...

okey..thanks to you, this underpassu will be on my to-see list when i come to banagalooru...

gr8 update...and on the opening of teh underpaasu...:)

Prats said...

TRust them to thrust all the underpasses magically into our faces....bad enuf, no way out form my area, now all sides are going to be choc a bloc....
Devare kapaDbeku....I shall just learn how to fly maybe :), direct landings in palace grounds...and then take off from there....what say, for idea????

freespirit said...

i've been following your underpass posts all these days and frankly I've no idea what this underpass is supposed to look like or help with, though i've laughed my head off reading your hilarious observations. So, i now eagerly await my next bengaluru visit to go do a tourist visit to this great underpass.

Bikerdude said...

thinking aloud: Thanks!

prats: sadya the truckers strike put a spanner in the works of the new underpass for a week- I think we really needed that breathing time! Yeah flying is best idea I tell you.

sthreespirit: Oho barbek barbeku- where you had gone I say? Yes when you come next, you will have to pass all the underpasses on your way into town from Devvana halli

Anisha said...

Your a rockstar (u) !!!

Sigh wheres your fan club ? i may as well join !!!

'aapy as appy can be !

The Quark said...

You guys are really awesome, you, ATP, Krish and Maami. Make most of my days, you do.

And with reference to an older post on mungaaru maLe, mungaaru refers to the South West Monsoon, the one which begets the Kharif crop in India.

And I am appy as frooti cannot be!

Sigh! I miss namma bengaLooru.

Anonymous said...

good posts! way to go!

aditi said...

u know on those walls of the underpass ...along with sun faced painted things u can now find...pan stains...yuckkkkkk