Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Naturally, Sir.

Gotta to hand it to old world Indian businesses to smooth talk you into supplication.
Here's what happened at a tile shop the other day.

The tile shop lady asked me to come take a look at some tile samples at 4pm. I took time off work and arrived at tile shop at 4, all proud of myself for being professional and non-blr-std-time. No sign of the tiles, no sign of the tileni either.

Me: Ive come to meet Prafulla
Mgr: Prafulla not there sir.
Me: But she specifically told me to come at 4pm.
Mgr: Not there sir. Anything?
Me: (irritated) She has kept some tiles for me to see.
Mgr: Sit down sir. Aye Manja, Madam yemanna tiles pettinaara, poi choodu. (Aye manja, go see if madam has kept any tiles by)
Manja: Ledhu (no) sir
Mgr: Sir please go upstair sir
Me: Sit upstairs fuming
Mgr: (Nervously returns after some time) Sir, what tiles sir?
Me: This one (pointing to sample). You mean to say she has not kept the tiles?
Mgr: Not told sir, madam not there
Me: But this is your shop! First of all, if she called me, why is she not here? And if she is not here why are the tiles not here?
Mgr: Yes sir
Me: We are proffessional people sir. We dont have time to waste like this.
Mgr: Naturally, sir.
Me: Umm, err.. harumph. Err, please hurry up sir.
Mgr: Of course sir. Please sit sir. Aye Manja, godown ninchi tiles theeskond ra ra. (Aye Manja, bring the tiles from teh godown ra) You will have tea coffee sir?
Me: No thank you
Mgr: Fresh mussumbi juice sir?
Me: Err.. gulp.. umm
Mgr: Aye Manjaa, Sir ki Mussumbi juice theeskond ra ra. (Aye Manja, you gotta be dumb if I need to translate this for you) . Hot weather no?
Me: Err.. Yes.
Mgr: Very much so sir.

Quietly drank the mussubi juice and waited an hour for the tiles to arrive.

Moral of the story: Tere jaise kitne log dekhe hain bachchoo. Le, juice pee. Mwah.