A cinematic Rosetta Stone

Several gems of Nohthern Injun musical history will be lost to history forever if drastic steps are not taken. Being the altruistic soul that I am, I have decided translate the following shining jewel of contemporary musical poetry into various southern tongues, in the hope that it shall remain alive forever, albeit in different languages:

Nohthern Injun
Subah subah main khidki kholoon
Baju waali ladki hai!
Dil mera bole hello how are you (Oh how are you)
Dil mera bole hello how are you

Kunigal Kannada
Kitki inda Nanjammange
Oota aaythaanth keliddike
"Aythappa, nindh aaytha?" andidlu. (Oh andidlu)
"Aythappa, nindh aaytha?" andidlu.

Bengloor Kannada
MG road nal hogovaga
Yaavno goobe adda bandha
Sudden aag break haak chakk anth shtop maaddhe. (Oh stop maaddhe)
Sudden aag break haak chakk anth shtop maaddhe.

Malleshwaram Tamil
Vidi karthale kitki tharndhe
Pakthaath haidiye paathoot chonne
Namskaaron, nee apdi ikkande, (Oh ikkande)
Namskaaron, nee apdi ikkandhe

Austin Town Tamil
Morningle windows tharndit keeren
Naibors veetle ledis paathu
Hello yepdi keere nu ask panne(Oh ask panne)
Hello yepdi keere nu ask panne

Mylapore Tamil
Janna-kadhavai tharanthu paathaa
Ambuja maami paathu siricha
Yenna-oi, sowkyama nu kaetootaa (Oh kaetootaa)
Yenna-oi, sowkyama nu kaetootaa

Mangalore Kannada
Enthadhu kodali? Anna saaru
Halasina happala, gashi saha vuntu
Ella bittu Gadibidi hodiyuva? (Hau..du....)
Pabbas ige hogi Gadibidi thinnuva

Kottayam Malayalam
Vindows oapen cheythappoley
Jincy Kutty parayunnathu kaettu:
Randu thenga irakku, Ouseppey (Oh ouseppey)
Randu thenga irakku, Ouseppey.

Nellore Telugu
Yera babu, kitki ninchi
Ammailu emi kanapada ledhe
Nann odhulesi yaeda poyero (Oh poyero)
Nann odhulesi yaeda poyero.

Rowdy Revanna

Question 1: How do you fit a daddy long legs and significant other into a Reva?
Easy breezy.
Two in the front, seats pushed back.

Question 2: How do you fit two porcine colleagues and one daddy long legs into a Reva?
Easy squeezy.
Two in the front, one in the back.

Question 3: How do you extricate two porcine colleagues and one daddy long legs from a Reva after 1 hour on Hosur Road?
Geezie Louisey.
Method 1:
Switch off AC and wait for everyone to melt into puddles and trickle out onto the sidewalk.
Method 2:

1. Gradually heat the windshield until the suction pocket formed by colleague 1’s nostril on the windshield expands and pops loose.
2. Remove various body parts of colleague 1 separately and reassemble on sidewalk.
3. Move seat forward and entice colleague 2 out with a benne biscuit. Notice that colleague 2 has now been neatly moulded into a compact cuboid. You might have to tilt the car a little to enable cuboidal colleague to scurry out on fingertips that have permanently adhered to his backside.

Question 4: Write short notes on salient features of Revathi car.

1. Hello, no engine = no servicing. What a lovely.
2. Powered by Jog Falls. Eat my dust, Bushie.
3. Looks like slightly cute dead lizard. Very endearing if you’re into that sort of thing.
4. Has 4 speed AC which when turned on at full blast can double up as reverse gear.
5. Contains one of 8 working cassette players in Bangalore. Also lets you to hatch ingenious plans of murdering Radio Indigo RJs while driving to work.
6. Chick/dude magnet: “Aww, Reva you’re hawing? So sweet yaaaaan.”
7. Squeezes into loincloth sized parking slot on MG road while you beam sympathetically at other drivers who have been circling the block for 8 hours trying to park their big bottomed style-party cars.
8. Can scare all manner of people by sneaking up silently behind them and nudging them with bumper.
9. Confuses cops and therefore gets through all police checkpoints in record time:

• Cop: “Sir emission thorsi” (Show me emission (tra la la la la) )
• Proud Reva Owner (PRO): (Putting on a Mangalore accent for effect) “Saara, gaadili engine il-la, yenthadhu thorisali.” (No engine sir, what shall I show?)
• Cop: “Oh haudalla? License thorsi sir hangaadre.” (Oh isn't that right? show me your license then)
• PRO: “Licensu maneli bittu bande. Halasinakaai happala untu. Beke?"(I left the license at home. Shall I give you jackfruit papad instead?)
• Cop: “Umm, sari hogli, smell maadi sir.” (Oh alright then, smell please (breathalyzer))
• PRO: “Saara! Electric car odisuvavarige vaasane maadalikke heliddare dosha biluththadhe. Ee gaadili vaasane baruvudhilla, bari parimalave baruvudhu. Sathyavaagi heluthene” (Sir! If you ask an electric car driver to smell you, you will be cursed forever. Only fragrances will emanate from this car, and this is the truth.)
• Cop: (confused, not wanting to mess with a Mangloor type) “Hauda??!!" (really?)
• PRO: "Hau-duuuuu.." (Yes)
• Cop: "Aithu saar, hog banni" (Alright sir, pls go.)
• PRO: (Preferably in Silk smitha like groan, half biting lips) "Saara, bere enthadaadaru nodabeke?" (Sir, did you want to see something else?")
• Cop: "Aiyo hogri swami, namskara." (Aiyo go sir my lord. I salute the divine in you.)

Ah lurrrves mah li’l junebug.