Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Five Day Fever

Bangalore will now have the world's first roller-coaster for everyday use. The Bengalooru Mahanagara Palike (BMP) is constructing a series of 5 hump-backed flyovers on Sankey Road, all in a span of 5 days. Ingenious Malaysian technology is being used, where interlocking concrete blocks will be assembled lego-style, to create a flyover system overnight. At the end of the 5 day period, Sankey Road will look like this:

The deadline for completion has come and gone though, and I don't see no humps on that road. Not even a speedbump. Since my faith in the BMP is strong and unshakeable, I have come to the inescapable conclusion that the flyover was built well in time, but instantly ceased to exist due to one of the following reasons:

(1)The flyover system came to life, logged on to shaadi dot com in search of a life partner, and moved to Scotland.

(2) The Police commissioner felt that the flyovers would cause giddiness, and that anything involving light headedness beyond 11pm was illegal and had to be dismantled.

(3) A passing family of giants needed braces for their dentally challenged children.

(4) Smallsquirrel, self, and other respected Bangaloreans decided that the flyovers were actually donut halves and ate them for breakfast.

(5) The concrete lego blocks were smuggled off to suburban Bombay, where they now house a family of 8 each.

(6) Flyovers No.2 & 3 next to Opus sprouted legs and ran for cover on Karaoke night, and so the entire project had to be cancelled.
In light of the extenuating circumstances above, it is only fair that we forgive poor BMP for its inability to produce the said flyover system in the stipulated time.

We must therefore not lose hope in their ambitious 30km tunnel highway from Minsk square to Devanahalli, and can rest assured that it will indeed be complete by next year, as promised.

BMP, We love you. No, really.


Anonymous said...

OMG!! hahaha.
man you got too much time on your hands.

Prats said...

Brilliant!!! How I wish the doughnuts had not been eaten...and Opus..!!! what else will you think of next. :)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

usha said...

awesome illustrations! :)

though i thought the police guy's 'comingaa? come come' stole the show!

Sav said...

think i've laughed out my quota for the year :) Possibility no.5 may actually have happened!

Pri said...

haiii wattay beauty song you have reminded me of belige belige i say. "hello my lowwlee ladis who are you whooo aarryu? sari eekade kalsi saar shutap antha bai muchu saar. nodamma hudugi alle ille adjust maadko."

also varygood improvement with the animation. varynice. especially circular aunties.

Divya said...

Hahhahahaha I'm gonna be fired for laughing out so loud at work.....Brilliant....too much kada nuvvu

maxdavinci said...

hilarious post!

but the lego system is really awesome atleast on paper...

Arun said...

totally hilarious :)

mamta said...

Soooper Post Dude!

Poojitha said...

annnnnddd.... cardboards r bac!!!! wit a bang...soober pa....

Abhipraya said...

Dude! This is toooo much creativity. Tamma paadada xerox swalpa post maadtheera?

Can't stop laughing!!!

Primalsoup said...

Heh, most fun.
Does your company have a vacancy that I can apply to?

Rithish said...

houdu!!! houdu!!! "abhipraya" helida haage, nimma next cardboard cartoon jote, nimma paadada ondu copyannoo hacchi... naavu illindaane, download maadkondu, print-out tegedu, aarati ettuteve!!! ;o)

enjai Christmas and new year!!! :o)

Bikerdude said...

Thanks much all!

prats: Thanks and the same to you. I went and bought one more orizinal donut from the lovely donut baker today. slurrp.

usha: heheh. The first time I heard that was when my boss emailed me after I returned from a long hol: bandya? ba, ba.

sav: Im sure it'll soon happen in nammooroo too :P

pri: Thu all thap-thappu. But agreed, what a song I say. Iconic of our times it is. July neen sarg muchko was the most ridiculous one.

divya: thanks whats kada nuvvu?

maxdavinci: Aa then what. bangaloreaa storkaa? (kokka)

arun,mamta,poojitha: thankses childrenses :)

abhipraya, rithish: Uyyyo bedrappa, bedi! Naane Thank you card kalsthene :)

For bitterscotch, primalsoup.. and anyone else who's planning to get holier-than thou: I draw faster than I write. And please, this is a troll-free blog.

RustyNeurons said...

annavre!! you are too much!! much relief while sitting here in the boring client's place I say :) thanks for being the (un)official laughter therapy center.

comment_raja said...

HAHAHAHA @ karoke nights = kroak nights.

biker dude this is your true calling ma - colourful pictures with illustrations. what a!

talentful fellow you are i say!

Anonymous said...

Haahaa Heehee.. Chancae illai pa.. Supper post. Couldn't stop laughing.

Anonymous said...

Saahebre! Ala-la-la-la aen chitra bardheer-ree-pa!

Nenap banth nod-ree. Auckland-daag brijj omme kattidhr, neer myaag. Kattbekadr hog-tha bar-tha baree yerd-yerd lane katti haakidhr.

Lagooon gaadi thumbi haryaak-hatth. Eeg expansion heng madooN-pa anth vichaar maadi, maadi thelee kediskond kadeek international tender haakidhr.

Cheap and besht idea Japan mandhi-d. aa kade ee kade 2 pre-fabricated lanes with cantilever support attach maadidhr.

Eeg aa brijj-ge ‘Nippon clip-on’ anth allee mandhi kareethaar-ree!

Bikerdude said...

rusty: Thyanks ma. Nange ee naadve bariyak thumba bejaar aagthide. Neev kathegal bareeri, naan chitra bareethene. Henge, idea?

comment_razu: Uyyo, how nice I say. Correct. This blogging shlogging is a bit boring (as of now).

rekha: Tyaanks ma.

10yrslate: Wah wah. Thelee upyogsodralli Jappani mandiginth bettr yaaru illkanri. Illi sagne-maraLu use maadi ond jujubi flyover katsak oddadthaar jana. Canteliver Geentilever anth ella heLdre, panche bich kotbudthare. (Sorry at some point my attempt at HBL-DWD kannada transitioned into Kunigal :P)

small squirrel said...

thanku thanku... nimgoskara nanu ondu donutinna devastanavanne kattisbitte.

saary saar, big mistaku made. I ate it for thindi in the maarning only.

Divya said...

Oh I thought you knew telugu.....don you?? too much kada nuvvu in telugu are too good

Bikerdude said...

smallsquirrel: Wah wah full husband wife team aa? beauty I say.

divya: Oh telugu aa? Got it got it. (Since I only know Nellore Tel, I would say "too muchchu kaa nuvva??") I tried to make sense of it in Tamil (kaadu novu = ear ache).

anoushka said...

biker dude your brilliance is corruscatingly scintillating. your writings are brilliant and your illustratations are funny and incisive. keep up the great work. lovely way to start my new year. anoushka taraporewala

ps the shipping off of the girders for housing in dharavi, mumbai took my breath away!1

Usha said...

Vondu request saar, neevu postugala naduve swalpa gap bidu beku. Namge nakki nakki nalige ulukond bidthu. Post sakkathu andre comments nodidre adukintha sakathu.
New year khushiyagi shuru ayitahppa nimma daye inda.
Nimage hosa varshada hardika shubhashayagalu.

Bikerdude said...

anoushka: corruscating as an zinc sheet eh :P Thanks muchly I say :)

Ushe: Aithammowru. Solp hoth hange butbudthene.

Spunky Monkey said...

Those big circular and draped humanoids are very accurate. You are missing so many of the type by not going to Madras this time of the year.
A friend's father is a high ranking official in the BMP. They have jacuzzi in two-two bathrooms.
What? I am just saying, that's all. Also, she pays 2.2 lacs a year to study. Again, just saying.

Harishhh said...

That's it! I am sitting here in my office laughing my head off! All my colleagues think I'm a nut-case now!! Darn you biker dude! Darn you to heck!

Seriously though.. ROFL! I mean _literally_ Rolling On the Floor Laughing!!

The Darkling Thrush said...

hidambi is thumba cute.

solpa haage kalasbidi, BMP email addressge.

Bikerdude said...

spunky: i assume its his way of ensuring that the bmp has a clean slate, and that nobody will die of a heart attack when the flyover system is actualy completed.

harishh: Tyanks siwa, as usuallu :)

darklingthrush: :) Aiyo beda ma. Innu excuses kotre innu delay mad saisthare nan makkalu.