Friday, August 17, 2007

Tag-a-raja Kriti

I have been commanded by the infamous KA to write 25 random factoids about my existence. Muhuhaha what you hawe let yuvarself in for I say muhuhahaha.

  1. I like zoning out. I've done it all my life and regularly go "wha...?" in the middle of important conversations. Bunches of friends have named me Zoney M, Blanko, Bladdy Phull etc on account of it. I am also known to make unrelated stupid remarks to save myself from being caught out but only get myself into more trouble.
  2. I will order anything on the menu that I havent tried before. Even if it Kissan jam sauteed with yoghurt and egg noodles.
  3. I love biking in the rain. Love it love it. Until the first drop of water seeps through into my chuddies. Then I hate it, hate it.
  4. I went green last year and sold my mobike to buy a Reva. I have subsequently hit my brain several times with my father's ancestral hawai chappal. Insanely proud though, that good old Jog Falls can give good old Dubya a run for his money. But I want my old chugger back!! wail!
  5. I love Mangalorean food. I also love Mallu food. And Coorg food. And Rasam and baby potatoes. And pretentious chi chi pooh pooh food. And thair sadham. And wadakina wendekai. And.. err ok I like food.
  6. I've joined a gym 4 times in my life and have never gotten past the third month. Whenever I feel flabby I watch a fitness video and instantly feel better.
  7. The world's best masala dosa exists in a pokey little hotel called Central Tiffin Rooms in Malleshwaram. In fact its location is so top secret that they have even changed the name of the hotel so that people dont kidnap the cook. Be nice to me and I might take you there - blindfolded of course.
  8. I adore roller coasters! I'm considering living on one for a few years. I dont even have to use two tumblers to cool my degree coffee. Just pour it off the top of a slope and catch it on my way down. Fun fun.
  9. I play guitar with the skill of a cotton fluffer. I can get away with murder if I threaten to play it amidst company.
  10. I always have an out of body experience when I go to Purple Haze and realize we're headbanging to death metal in a pub on a plateau in South India!
  11. I cannot remember birthdays. Even if I am reminded the day before. Always compensate by being extra nice to the person a month later. I dont think this has worked very well.
  12. When the price of cucumbers goes down in Malleshwaram market, the vendors will cry out with mock incredulity : "Yeld rupp yeld rupp. Yenri idhu?" (Rs 2, Rs 2, What is this (insanity)?)
  13. In 1987 the Bangalore city corporation decided to substitute the water in the Sadashivnagar Olympic swimming pool with dil. HCl. I owe my beautiful pink peeling skin tone to this.
  14. My lifetime ambition is to sneak up to someone in Beijing and say "Are you Chwyneeeeeeeeeeese?"
  15. I want to sign up the person who writes the captions for Page 3 pics in Bangalore Times for a therapeutic public stoning.
  16. Enid Blytons are best enjoyed atop a mango tree.
  17. My mother has steadfastly deprived me of potted meat sandwiches and scones all through my childhood.
  18. Andhra's speciality mango pickle was so named when a famous Australian called Nan Dandee tasted it for the first time and said "Its Awkay mite".
  19. A schoolboy looks ridiculous when he walks through a rice paddy in Trivandrum with his shoes held above his head and his shorts fall off.
  20. Sparrows left Bangalore in 1999. I did not receive a message thanking me for the sunflower seeds and caterpillars. Where are you my little ones? Come back I say.
  21. When your cousin says "They have cleaned up the Adyar" and offers to take you on a bike ride down the bridge, do not go. "They have not."
  22. The best way to get out of a Hijra's clutches is to fold your hands, say maaf karo and dive at their feet.
  23. And just to be contrary, I will stop at 23.

I shall now tag rustyneurons to kindly do the needful and oblige.


RustyNeurons said...

Devre! I will need another break altogether to start thinking and collecting "factoids"about myself. Dont blame me if you sleep through the first six and never see the footer portion!
and, pls to be giving at leasht one week time. vokaywa?

Meenakshi said...

Suspected that there was something in your obsession with scones and potted meat sandwiches :-) Your poor amma!

Bikerdude said...

Rusty: Aye sumne bariyamma. Break anthe. Wokay one week i will gio max. After that i will send hourly reminders ha.

Meenakshi: My poor amma? She was more than happy if I was up a tree and out of earshot. She cleverly substituted curd rice and upma for scones and (tauba tauba) potted meat sandwiches, absolutely convinced that nobody could tell the difference.

I love Lucy said...

The Malleshwaram vendors actually say that??!! :-))

I used to loveee Enid Blyton books as a kid,especially the FF series with that Fatty guy :-)

sou said...

hmm.. solpa same to same

nanu zone out lotsu
nanu new items on menu trying
nanu planning on a reva (any wise words...of warning? might need to borrow ur appa's ancestral chappals later)
nandu sooper shining golden skin thanks to mahalakshmilayout thotti
nanu missing sparrows

and somebody stole the joy of being with mango trees from my childhood :(

Bit Hawk said...

Interesting list!

closetalk said...

will the poor chwyyyynieeeeeeeeeeeesee ever recover after that?
fun blog u got here.

The Infamous KA said...

Hehe. Therapeutic public stoning. Awkay mite. LOL.

pepe M. said...

wer is Malleshwaram? never heard of this place in india! :)

n said...

I agree with 16 wholeheartedly. It makes me like your whole blog and everything you write on it. Tho I like what i've seen so far, anyway :D

Arun said...

"Sparrows left Bangalore in 1999. I did not receive a message thanking me for the sunflower seeds and caterpillars. Where are you my little ones? Come back I say."

Very touchy.. :)

Bikerdude said...

I love lucy: PS: I really do love lucy. Used to wait with bated breath every friday night for her show to come on the air on DD when I was 7. Yes they really do say that.

sou: MLL thotti - heheheh too much!! Buy a Reva by all means if you have less than a 60km round trip every day. It is a lovely lovely car and you will never regret buying it.

Bit hawk & Closetalk: Thanks :)

The infamous KA: Why the mufti ID? :)

Pepe: Malleshwaram is an old world locality in North Bangalore where several generations of my family grew up.

n: Thanks :)

Arun: Do you have any inside information on them? Please tell them I miss them.

shub said...

BUT. Malleswaram is spelt without the 'aich' I say! It ees NOT Malleshwaram, although tis pronounced that way.
Hilarious post. Loved it, can relate to so much of it. Especially CTR masala dosa. Ohh then there's Janatha hotel..the uddin vade-sambar...siiiiigh.

Pri said...

did youver berather take photo when 19 happened?

Pri said...

the sparrows flew to andhra. they are now found in various biryani joints around the state.

rebel said...

I know CTR! And Purple Haze! I love both Yay! one and a half yrs at Blore is not a waste!

ChronicWorrier said...

There's a reason blogs are banned at work. I was ploughin thru the archive and laughing my head off--my colleagues have concluded am looney-bin worthy.
I demand a new post! Oh, could I link you up, please?

Arun said...

Apparently builders have taken over those foodie joints in city that were once full of caterpillars. Last heard, they were still searching for a place where the builders have not yet gone..

Bikerdude said...

Shub: Correct amma. But it is wrong no? Like calling you Sub instead of Shub- allve? janta hotel has lost its mojo. They walld in the funy looking palm tree in teh front courtyard and it now looks dingy and dark. The serpentine queues are a thing of the past.

pri: Brother was in ettanother school that dropped him to our doorstep. So only farmers pointed and said Ayye and laughed. Also pls leave a trail of briyani for them all the way back to bangalore.

rebel: You are a true blue Bengalue rue. Welcome I say.

chronicworrier: Thanks :) Sure you can!

Arun: That would probably be Antarctica. the poor things :(

pri: Please

N said...

No blackmange pudding?

Excellent stuff:) Esp the bit about the Australian and the pickle:))

Rambodoc said...

Oh, I had missed this post... this is preciously good humor!
Loved it, though I am the seventy-seventh person to say it!

Poppins said...

Very funny ! My first time here. Love the potted meat and the yeldu rupai, heck loved all of them !

Bikerdude said...

n, rambodoc, poppins: Thanks :) said...

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