Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Rowdy Revanna

Question 1: How do you fit a daddy long legs and significant other into a Reva?
Easy breezy.
Two in the front, seats pushed back.

Question 2: How do you fit two porcine colleagues and one daddy long legs into a Reva?
Easy squeezy.
Two in the front, one in the back.

Question 3: How do you extricate two porcine colleagues and one daddy long legs from a Reva after 1 hour on Hosur Road?
Geezie Louisey.
Method 1:
Switch off AC and wait for everyone to melt into puddles and trickle out onto the sidewalk.
Method 2:
  1. Gradually heat the windshield until the suction pocket formed by colleague 1’s nostril on the windshield expands and pops loose.
  2. Remove various body parts of colleague 1 separately and reassemble on sidewalk.
  3. Move seat forward and entice colleague 2 out with a benne biscuit. Notice that colleague 2 has now been neatly moulded into a compact cuboid. You might have to tilt the car a little to enable cuboidal colleague to scurry out on fingertips that have permanently adhered to his backside.

Question 4: Write short notes on salient features of Revathi car.

  1. Hello, no engine = no servicing. What a lovely.
  2. Powered by Jog Falls. Eat my dust, Bushie.
  3. Looks like slightly cute dead lizard. Very endearing if you’re into that sort of thing.
  4. Has 4 speed AC which when turned on at full blast can double up as reverse gear.
  5. Contains one of 8 working cassette players in Bangalore. Also lets you to hatch ingenious plans of murdering Radio Indigo RJs while driving to work.
  6. Chick/dude magnet: “Aww, Reva you’re hawing? So sweet yaaaaan.”
  7. Squeezes into loincloth sized parking slot on MG road while you beam sympathetically at other drivers who have been circling the block for 8 hours trying to park their big bottomed style-party cars.
  8. Can scare all manner of people by sneaking up silently behind them and nudging them with bumper.
  9. Confuses cops and therefore gets through all police checkpoints in record time:
  • Cop: “Sir emission thorsi” (Show me emission (tra la la la la) )
  • Proud Reva Owner (PRO): (Putting on a Mangalore accent for effect) “Saara, gaadili engine il-la, yenthadhu thorisali.” (No engine sir, what shall I show?)
  • Cop: “Oh haudalla? License thorsi sir hangaadre.” (Oh isn't that right? show me your license then)
  • PRO: “Licensu maneli bittu bande. Halasinakaai happala untu. Beke?"(I left the license at home. Shall I give you jackfruit papad instead?)
  • Cop: “Umm, sari hogli, smell maadi sir.” (Oh alright then, smell please (breathalyzer))
  • PRO: “Saara! Electric car odisuvavarige vaasane maadalikke heliddare dosha biluththadhe. Ee gaadili vaasane baruvudhilla, bari parimalave baruvudhu. Sathyavaagi heluthene” (Sir! If you ask an electric car driver to smell you, you will be cursed forever. Only fragrances will emanate from this car, and this is the truth.)
  • Cop: (confused, not wanting to mess with a Mangloor type) “Hauda??!!" (really?)
  • PRO: "Hau-duuuuu.." (Yes)
  • Cop: "Aithu saar, hog banni" (Alright sir, pls go.)
  • PRO: (Preferably in Silk smitha like groan, half biting lips) "Saara, bere enthadaadaru nodabeke?" (Sir, did you want to see something else?")
  • Cop: "Aiyo hogri swami, namskara." (Aiyo go sir my lord. I salute the divine in you.)
Ah lurrrves mah li’l junebug.


mike said...

LOL :) Have been in your Reva back seat - with you and VJ up front. Lurvly ride it was.

RustyNeurons said...

Hilarious.. This was more than what I had asked for!!

Meenakshi said...

Rowdy Revanna, indeed!! LOL

Karthik said...

Hahaha. Nice.

comment_raja said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
comment_raja said...

I remember when you and I sat in the front seat and twisting our respective bodies to match some hrithik roshan aye mere dil tu sort of dance moves.

apart from the car joining us in our lil endevour, we got quite a few admirers (read: weirded out fellow drivers) watching us.

and who can forget the time, when we almost ran out of battery, and turned off all lights, music, fan/AC and prayed that it would get us home in one piece.

... and we did!

uff, so much fun the revathi is. i cant wait for my next ride.

I think this was your best investment ever!

Rithish said...

ee post annu eegashte odiddu... yenappa.. naavoo mangloorinavare... nammannella heege tamaashe maaduvudaa?? :o)

--xh-- said...

'Can scare all manner of people by sneaking up silently behind them and nudging them with bumper.' - so truye.. and teh car is quiet strong.. saw an accident, and man, i was really impressed...

Prithvi said...

Yaake yellrigu namma M'lorean lingua franca mele kannu ? :-)
Enjoyed reading it anway.
You seem to have quite an obsession with halasina happala...
And the ice cream is Gadbad...not gadibidi ...

The Psycho Blogger said...

damn dude. i can't even fit myself into it no matter how much of a contortionist i try to be :D said...

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