Monday, February 15, 2010

The twain finally meet.


“Aye thu blady naansense”, I screeched into the unsuspecting ear of The Eyer, when he suggested we meet up at Lalbagh. “My fother will drive so far or what?” I said, picturing my journey-across-the-seven-seas for our much awaited meetup.

“Shut up now. Basavangudi is central, its you Malleswaram types that are in the burbs.” He said. Besides it’s walking distance for me”, he added helpfully.

“Ohoho, very close to you means what I must do. Trans Siberian Railway and all I cant catch and come to see your face ok.”

“Dude you didn’t volunteer to organize this, so thatsaaal means thatsaal, jhungachukka. You must only come to Lalbagh and meet us, I do not know anything. Besides, it’s your workplace anyway.”

“Ayeeeeee, how very dare you call me a gardener I say?”

“Err, because you are one?”

“Oh correct no? Ok, see you in half an hour.”

Unwittingly caught in the crossfire was our celebrity guest - Krish Attack, who magnanimously postponed his flight back to Chennai to hang out with us, after smashing his way through a maha funda presentation at IIMB. After some frantic calls to ascertain his whereabouts, we finally located him, suitcase in hand, appropriately clad for the Bangalore chill in a three piece suit.

After a couple of “mad or what?” looks directed at the Eyer and I, who were busy clawing each other’s eyes out deciding which Lalbagh gate to enter, he cleared his throat. The Eyer and I stopped in mid claw and looked back at his rapidly reddening complexion.

“Err, I have seen Lalbagh before you know”, he ventured timidly, peeling off 7 layers of winterwear. “My parents took me there as a kid.”

“So, err.. what shall we do then?” said the Eyer, dismayed at his grandiose plans of a botanical tour of the gardens being dashed to the ground.

“Eh, lets eat”, we all said in chorus, and whirled the car around to our first stop in the gastronomic tour of “the place where the other people live” – Basavangudi.

First stop: New Modran Hotel. “Do not put leg on Chair. Do not wash hand in plate. Do not yodel. Do not sing mainstream Telugu film songs while chewing”, read the sign above where we sat, as we waited for the famous modran hotel thatte-idli to arrive. Meh. It was salright. Sorry Eyerboss. Veena shtore rules. Aaa nexxxxxt…

My smirkiness died a quick death however, when we stopped at our next venue: Shettr angdi (appojite New Modran Hotel). After making us chomp through an interestingish tamota-slice, The Eyer pulled out his trump card. He whispered into the Jabba-the-hut-like proprietor’s ear. Jabba guffawed, gave us the up-and-down, rubbed his palms together and went to work: on Shettrangdi Special Andre Speshhhhhal Butter Gulkand.

“Whaaaaaaaaaat?” I hear you loyal Bhagyalakshmi Butter Gulkand loving Malleswaramites scream? “How very dare you, Bikerdude”, you sob? Well sadly, Shettru has only one word to say to you. “Mwah.”

First came a gob of butter. Then a slather of gulkand. Then the mixed fruitu. Familiar enough, no? But no. That’s where Bhagyalakshmi stops and Shettrangdi starts. On went the murabba (murabba??? Yes) followed by nuts, candy, more fuits, chaat masala (No! Yeah? Yeah.) and finally a dollop of butterskaachu icecream!

Enoughaaaa? No. On the top of the butterskaachu went more chopped nuts and a glazed cherry. Whaaaaaataylovely!!!! Jabba handed it over with a flourish and 12 seconds later, fini! What a beauty I say! Sorry ma Bhagyaakshmi, you lose. Ok? ok.

Next stoppu: Subbamma angadi. While Attack stocked up on 564 packets of kodbale and chakli, I settled for the mind numbingly spicy masala vadey. Good stuff. Well done Subbamma, wherever you are, smiling down upon us with a plate of dynamite-nippat in hand.

With about minus 10 minutes to spare for Attack saar to catch his flight, we managed to teleport him straight into a vayu vajra, from where with his superior Web 2.0 skills he managed to re-program the check-in-lady’s brain to jettison him through an open cockpit window into the flight as it was taxiing off to Chennai.

So- um yeah. Basavangudi. Hmm. Some possibilities there I agree :)

Many thanks to Eyer saar for smiling stoically through all manner of abuses hurled. I am suitably impressed ok? ok.

Attack saar, kindly come nesht time I say. I will feed CTR benne masale and veena idly and you only decide.

And as for you Bhagyalakshmi, I have only one word to say:

Hogamma.


-----------

PS: Aa yes, I'm back, hello. (famous last words)

100 comments:

Reflections said...

Look who's back...very much delighted saar;-D

Now let me go read the post;-P

bluejay said...

yaaaaay!!! u'r back!!! :)

narendra shenoy said...

I'm executing a triple somersault! Yippeee.

BTW, I've never had butter gulkand. Goodaa?

My3 said...

Yayyyy. You are baaaack!!

What you saying man? Baswangudi top placu. Malleshwaram gilleshwaram yell peri ghetto, pa. Nall shopping pannanu anale, Gandhi Bazaar. Yenna, madarn hotelu, Brahmnal Idli/kaapi baar pogvillya? Srinivasa Brahmin Bakery kooda ikkarna ;-).
Ayyo no going to Vidyarthi Bhavan??? I am crying in snow-surrounded central PA :-((

Reflections said...

So peoples are still uzhing Lalbagh as meeting place eh...

"Speshhhhhal Butter Gulkand" sounds absolutely deeleeshiousappa. Shettr angdi appojite New Modran Hotel sounds like a must vijit place huh. Bahala tanks ee tipgae coz all I know is a dosa camp tht side of town;-P

Good to see u back Bikerdude:-))!!!!

Nandini Vishwanath said...

Morning time aagidre brahmin's coffee bar hog banni :D

But i shall vouch for any shettru angadi anywhere, I say. And Subbamma, sigh.

Karthik said...

ahh, finally the Return of the Jedi (Mannu)..
veri hyappee to hyaav yuu byaak sir..

Mohan said...

Saar, naavu tumba tumba nimdookey fan'uu...

I knowing the egjact shettrangadi u mention, and adhu mast aagidhe...

Sad to say though that adjacent Janata Hotel sambar has become like Vrishabhavathi water :(

Mattey, CTR open aagidya saar? closed for repairs for months now.

krishashok said...

One small correction - We all watched Mani Shankar Aiyar give high funda peter at IIMB. The only thing I gave was the occasional vague joke like "I come from the Breakfast in Chennai, Lunch in London and indigestion in New York generation of California Computer Coding Coolies" or something like that.

And before any benne ala urulaikazhangiatta can be sampled in your part of town, pliss to head down to Madras for some authentic Burmese fare at well..Burma Bazaar

inbavalli said...

Your Butter Gulkand easily beats the Madurai Jigridhanda I had at a potti kadai opposite to Vadapalani Saravanas :D

Praveen G K said...

Super post, guru, sakkathagi itthu :-)
Gooot to knw that neevu malleswaram indha coming..!!

Oh yes, CTR masala dosa rocks, and so does veena stores!

Anna Bond said...

yexellent postings i say.
next time, please to try ootad beedi in vv puram. the 2nd 'store' (under staircase) on the right side makes some amasing capsicum bajji-topped with onions and the works.

and yes, CTR rules. my wife's grandfather's brother owned it once it seems. serious.

shankari said...

Twain met, tiffin maaded, too much majaa ri!

Hope the post-tiffin siesta (coma?) will not stretch as long as the last one.

Apercevoir said...

Har! Har! Har! SO funny that was!

Welcome back.

Btw, Krishashok's comment (he even said Coolie!) and your reference to Telugu saangs reminded me of this yamazing number from Coolie # 1.

Watch at 1 min 50 seconds :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IgUAY5Zvuk

Serendipity said...

Abbabbah Vidyarthi bhavan bitbitra!!

Gajendra said...

fantaastic

Misschief-maker said...

Basavanagudi was thrilled to host you. As are your readers thrilled to see you blog after so long. How is subamma doing nowadays? Kelde antha heli!

longblackveil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
longblackveil said...

I say! How peculiar. Everyone talks funny here, what?
Welcome back, BikerDude.

(Ujjhu! My word-captcha is 'ernst')

Jai Iyer (iyermatter) aka Eyer said...

As Basavangudi 's Offcial Spokesperson (Forin Depotmentu) I am glad to see that this 'Avar-Amman Ki Asha' effort for peace between Basavangudi and Malleshwaram has begun smoothly, in presence of distinguished third party.
Looking forward to many more such external affairs and bilateral excursions.

(By the by, nice morabba drawing. Correct colour you have got off. And Jebba. Without tracing only you did off-a?)

WannabeWriter said...

yahhooo...you are back! :D

Love reading your posts though I don't really know most of the things and places you talk about!!!

But Lal Bagh...I have seen that before too...My parents took me there as a child too....

So glad you are back!

## said...

guru...antu bandbitya.. dina bandu bandu hogta idde.. welcome backu :)

Aditya said...

vaapa vaa anthu vanduttya! :)

mentalie said...

oooh, i love the sound of the way you write despite the fact that i understand just abt 10% of it :)

Harini said...

Come to madras sometime I shay !Laatss of nice places to see...You will like it ma...Pack ur bags now and come oofff!!!

Usha said...

:) :) :)

ur posts on the gabuk-gabuk joints were very much missed, saar!

Nileena said...

Sooper it was to see a new post from you!!! Hope you are back for good

P.S- Besstt thatte idly you get in Bidadi only.. Even better is the long bike ride to get there!

Shruthi said...

Aiyo seriously whaaaaaaaaaa? you mean Bhagyalakshmi Butter gulkand has competition? no! how? i just cant believe ich! I have to try this shettrangdi I say. Will include this in my itinerary when i visit Basavangudi. weekend only i can go there pa, too much planning required no.

Zahra said...

Yessssss..... a new post!! Finally!!!:)

At the risk of sounding woefully stupid......thees "hogamma"..... vaatitees?? :-S

Anonymous said...

You ditched Bhagyalakshmi yuh? Fine fine, no big deal. Don't you dare ditch CTR and Janatha, though! Ok yuh?
And so glad to see you back ra matssaaa ! :D

Kamini said...

What a joy! A post well worth the wait!

Abs said...

Finally! Hope this innings is a long long one dude!

Anonymous said...

1. oh wow you're back! happiness.
2. why didn't you go to vidyarthi bhavan?

desi_style said...

nice...welcome back!

Vibha Mehta said...

Been reading your blog for a while, thoroughly enjoyable and Bengaloorean in every way! :)
And I agree -- nothing beats Veena Stores, CTR and Janatha!

Renu said...

Finally! eet has been too long ri

Swat said...

Finally! I was tired of looking at your blog once every few weeks n closing the window feeling so disheartened! Abba! Good stuff man..

Deepa said...

Adella okay...yappa! you guys ate so much in one stretch!!!

Smitha said...

Veena Stores, CTR ge jai!!
I did probably do this round in 3 days thatzal, I say :)

Surdeep said...

Guess who's back
Back again
Biker's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back

The Prodigal Returns.......!!!

We need another "kikazz" post dude, ... been too long!

Bikerdude said...

Hello hello yeverybadies. Verrrry touched that all of you still come back and read this naaaansense I say! Yes hopefully enthu will continue!!

Wokay, now in repsaans to multiple queries:
narendrashenoy: Um, that's debatable. If you like being gobsmacked by an excrutiatingly high sugarbuzz then you'll enjoy it, as I do :)

reflections, karthik, praveen gk, shankari, apercevoir, gajendra, bluejay, wannabewriter, ##, mentalie, Usha, kamini, abs, anon, desi_style, vibha mehta, renu, swat, smitha : thanks!!!!!

my3, serendipity nandini, :brahmin's coffee bar and VB were my college haunts. Went to the latter recently, couldnt recognize the place without the grottiness of yesteryear and came back without eating only. Anyway The Eyer said he wasnt a big fan of it :P

mohan: haudalla? monne i went to janata to get sambar - no great shakes any more. and those gargantuan vadeys are like chakli size now. Hoon CTR is back in business and just as nice as before
:)

Attacksaar, Harini: yes yes coming coming :)

inbavalli: kindly describe said jigiridhanda i say!

anna bond: kindly convey best regards to family owners! Ootadh beedhi is next shtapu (and hopefully material for next poshtu)

mischief maker: subbamma is solpa naat available now i think. Its family members are still doing roaring business evidently!

longblack: aaan correccct. u also talkoff like this maa, no yescape im telling you

Eyersaar: Yes yes several long lasting bilateral relations are from henceforth hoped to be maintained

Aditya: Hoon pa, kadsheeko!

Nileena: Ayyo iseeeet? Inssstantly I am going. Ifonnnly namma BIAL was in bidadi instead of dyavudapalli (not complaining abotu that one bit) we would have had regular thatte idli no?



shruthi: correctu full voyaze of seven seas it is, but worthiteyesay- go off!

Zahra: Hogamma = go mother. Original song is "Bhagyada lakshmi baarama" (oh Lakshmi the bringer of good fortune, come,amma)

anon: hehe@ mattsa accent :) :)

Deepa: Nesht time neevu banni - innu thumba ide thinnakke :)

Surdeep: Abbahhh - full bleshing is happening off I say :)

Soaking Up The World said...

LOL! I yum lauuving yit I say! I yum reading yuvar blaag firsht timu!

Pri said...

oho like eediot i have posted comment on wrong post. kindly be deleting other one aa. okay thanks. original comment in its rightful place appears as follows.

thu nonsense. one year you'll take to update? bloggers meet it seems. write weekly post i say. also i had forgotten about tomato slice with uppu khara pepper. thanks for reminding me. now i want.

Euphoric Madness! said...

Yayay yet again you make me laugh int he middle of workday when physical knee pain where bringing unwanted floods to the eyes.... welcome back ... pliss to be staying here only not disappearing.... mwaah

Poornima said...

Yappa, yedd bandya putta? Good baay. Now put it little Camel glue between yuvar pen and beralu, & post every week, ayitha?

Totally agree with your Mallespura fixation dood..nann kelidre must die off with a piece of Veena stores idlichutney in your mouth! But somehow this murabbagirabba and aal I dont like. Just saying.

I always wanted to tell you this..PLEASE watch 'Bhavya Brahmanda' on Suvarna chonnel at 9 a.m. Thotagarike minss you have no office & no hours. Watch it AT LEAST for a week to get the whole juice.You gotta say something about it, man! PLEEJ.

Okay, counting down to your next post. Chop, chop!

Poori

Harini said...

I second Pri...Write regularly I say ! Not just once in a blue moon...real naansense this eess! also pliss to post some podcasts...soon :)

Prats said...

wah!!! welcome back.....
and eys..that veen shtores only rocks...but must say subbamma does have her goodies too...
and that CTR is all changed of name now..some sagar snathe...but dosa same to same

Chaitanya said...

On a different note, I've noticed that Bangalore temperatures have been soaring lately. Like any true bangalorean (especially a Malleswaramite) would, I quickly looked up the temperatures in Chennai. Results of comparisons are very disappaainting, I say!! :(
I remember how accurately you noted in one of your older posts, that we bangaloreans find solace only when our temperatures are at least 7-8 degrees lower than Chennai's at any given time.
How's the mood with people this time around in this regard? Cool majjige may not do us any good, unless Chennai's tempeature skyrockets into the 40s soon :D. What say?

sanjana said...

yaaaay u are back , u are back, u are back! :)eeeee.. :) yaaaaay! *jumping up and down with glee*

Shwetha Srinivasan said...

Bhagyalakshmi is a purist pa. And CTR is way above Vidyarthi Bhavan :) Jai Malleswaram :)

Forinle Putup said...

Ley vaapas bandyeno!? Olledu. On thara nostalgia becomes nin blog odidmele. Ipdiye elidkindiru pa. okaya? ok. Poyut va.

Curry Pan said...

glad you're back! brought the taste of the masala vadey back to me!! love your post :)

G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hey, welcome back...
whaatever I say, subbamma rocks
:-)
Giridhar

Sneo said...

you come to Basavangudi and not eat in Vidhyarthi Bhavan... thu thu

Ivan Yaru said...

Le motrbike manja.. going mins gone wonly for you! jesht karetly ofter loue day you are come back ma.. mins you are LKB.. Loue-day-Ke-Baad.. wok? wok..

Aalso Basavanagudi/VV Puram is ruling.. All this Malleshwaram and all dont want.. MTR pwns CTR.. SheTTrangDi pwns Bhagyalakshmi.. and ooTad beedi bhaTTrangDi idli chutney pwns Veena stores and her sitar.. Betsa? betsu..

Somebody Else said...

Muahahahah. Eat our-our-side-of-town Gulkhan and with it your hat. HHAHAHAHAH
Basvangudi rawks.

RustyNeurons said...

Finally!!!

Super happy to read the update. I second all the people who have threatened to take action if you don't post regularly.

The Restless Quill said...

Nice to see you back but the break's showing. this post is reaching a little, no?

Anonymous said...

Welcome back saaru! Soooper postu! You raaku!

Poornima said...

Bikeraa (like Shankaraa),

I hope youre watching 'Bhavya Brahmanda' DAIIILY & spending raapakal writing your next post! Which is the only acceptable excuse for this long, eerie, silence.

Write itoff fast, your fan base is shaking! In anticipation da!

Divya said...

Ayyooo, finally you are back with another hilaaarious poshtu!
SUPERB! Can't wait for the nesht onnu.. :-)

professoramma said...

Happy to see you back, bikerdude. I missed you.

EnrichingBuddha said...

Mvm any day for variety spread over a Km, unlike VVPuram- its so damnnnnnn crowded. Last time hogi, hottege virus bandhu - bejan jald baaji aagi - glucose goskara kava kava andhu - yakachikki baikondu - 2 nights & 1 night - bed rest.

Taking the situation to their advantage - my folks gave me " magne madthini iru" look & slipped a couple of bowls of Ganji in me...

finally when i could barely walk to reach potty house, they order a peetzaa with my credit card & wont even allow to taste the chilly flakes - let alone a piece.....

popsie said...

Welcome back, Sarre! Always love reading your posts. :-)

Anonymous said...

So happy to see you writing again.
I was checking your blogs like a maniac daily to see if you have posted anything new...
Thanks for returning..I loved your
new entry as usual and laughed my head off...

10yearslate said...

Barreee sir-a! BhaaL andhr bhaaL dina aath! Matth hyang-ree oor-kade maLi, beLi ella aaraama?

Bharamappa, Vishneppa Shivappa Mooru mandhi saerkoNd dubb-haakisi hod-dheer ansthaythi.

kivina said...

Aa yes - bannee saar! Welcome back. Jesht I took chance-u to see if yennnything abowe the jyaakfruitu - and whataysurprizisay!

Your pal Eyer did not take you to Srinivasa Brahmins Bakery wa? Ayyo - next time you "schlep" to my hometown, musht go, wokay? Wokay. Also, to be hyawing idly vade sambar at Brahmins Coffee Bar. (spotting Brahmin pattrun? This is Basavanagudi, I say!)

kivina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

thank you for giving us the pleasure of reading u again.

hope u stay awhile.

Anonymous said...

you managed to go from malleswara to basavanagudi in half an hour?
trans siberian railway indeed.

Australopithecus said...

again disappeared wonly aa?

Anonymous said...

biker dude saaru..we musht figure out if seconddd staage has any nice, dowan to yearth places to eat no? you cant forsake this part of town, no? full plans maadi for next trip of mine, ah? wokay? ok.

Anonymous said...

Origin of Bhagyalakshmi Gulkand Stores is here:
http://bangalore.citizenmatters.in/articles/view/1905-malleswaram-businessman-gulkand-shop

-Archana

Pradeep said...

Hey, can you tell me where this shettru angadi is? Veena stores idli is very good i agree, you have to check out brahmin's cafe idly near uma theatre (best in the world) :) and nothing can beat CTR benne masale.... i guess its under renovation right now...

Suresh said...

first time odde... soooper kano..

kusublakki said...

Chennnagide! Ee postu and nimma entire blogu :) Hope to see you post more often!

Swaram said...

Ayyo I am missing Bengaluru so much after reading this :(
and who says all that abt Malleswaram .. grrrr!

CM said...

Wonderful........And since i have spend most of life juggling between the two mentioned places, kind of nostalgic too. Missing the places now :(

R.A.Krishna said...

Basavangudi indeed! Maleswaram Rocks.
Do go through my article in Rediff on the best dosais in Bengaluru,
http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2006/mar/20rest.htm
The score is Malleswaram 2, Basavanagudi 1. That goes for pretty much everything. By the way, my family stays in RT Nagar and I am in Abu Dhabi at the mo.
Your blog gets me maudlin about Bengaluru and Malleswaram. Loved the Mandyam lady's dialogue with the Call Centre guy. Will visit it very often. should thank my brother for pointing me to it.
The butter gulkand, must try it sometime but Shettru Angadi seems to be a nightmare for me, what with my sugar levels. Getting on in years you know!

rama said...

Hi,I think I came to your space some 2 years ago, while i was just blog hopping, and I couldn't stop laughing after reading some of your blogs. You really write very well.
Now again as I was hopping from blog to blog i came across you again : it was a pleasant surprise.
I am also from Bangalore (Whitefield).
Have a nice day.

plush said...

not meant to be sidey...but vonly aall of this made me smile i say! welcome back!

RustyNeurons said...

helloo? where is the author of this blog? Still busy "GuLummayaswaahaa" in Malleshwaram or Basavangudi?

Anonymous said...

he vanished wonly.. where are u sir'aa these days. please to come back i say to enlighten bengalooru.
miss u ma, ummma

WV - osine

Nandini said...

hahah ! a riot... i love the "Hogamma" at the end!

Anjana Nandi said...

Ok, you do need to write more.

Anonymous said...

does anyone have a clue.. where's namma bikerdude?

Anonymous said...

ok BD, I read some select entries for the 4th/5th time. Pliss to come back!!! Too much missings is happening!

Long-time Lurker

Anonymous said...

Dude! Enna aachu?? Please write off soon, ok? Ok..

Siddhartha Joshi said...

Took me a while to get into the post, but once I did, I enjoyed it completely :) Awesome!!!

Abhi said...

Saar.. Have been following you, KA and some others for quite sometime now.. Just have not posted any comments..

Swalpa jaasti ne aaythu gap last post maadadagalinda..

Yeppo pudu post panna poringal? Oru waiteengs..

LG said...

ohoo..sumaru varshagale aytu saar tamoto masale, Subbamma angadi nippit etc thindu! tumba gastronomic agi ittu postu..How I wish Subbamma angadi people exported their stuff for poor NRIs like us :D

Drama Queen said...

haha... this is the first time me reading your blog! Damn funny.. loved the accent ;)

The food mentioned got me hungry too! BTW, u guys eat a lot.. :P chorryy..

Rush said...

Hilarious stuff - hope you get started posting again!

Reflections said...

Whats the matters???? No taime, verry bizzy or better things to do????

A girl's gotta think of her reputation & all...ur 1 yr un-updated link doesnt look very good on my blog-list u knw;-/.

Jesht update....ur blog has seen u thru 'tough' times, dont abandon it completely...

....or ur famous last words will return time & again to haunt u;-o

Reflections said...

And now if u write ur next post in the next 6 months u must give full credit to me....buaahahahahaaaaaa;-D

The insouciant A said...

Have you eloped with the 'Entha Hotness' lady? Just a thought...

meena iyer said...

Basavanagudi has its own benne dosa! havent you had it yet?

jeshal seo said...

Hey hi...i like the article. it's informative as well as very helpful. Thank you for sharing.


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