Thursday, May 22, 2008

Can't get any verse

Just I will tell off one poetry
So kindly to be keeping the quiet ri.
It may be shallow
Or crass, you faallow?
And irritate you senseless, it might ri.

Onnaf my friend, a daaktar,
Loved a girl and quite raacked her.
Their honey moonu
Came a tad too soonu
'Cos when she asked him to wear protection, he maacked her.

Yettanother boy in a call center
Had a big row with his mentor.
He is currently regarded
As mentorry retarded
After she ate the book he lent her.

A man sat down at Koshy's
And ordered two masala doshys.
The waiter glared.
Not that the man cared.
He, in fact, calmly picked his noshys.

A young girl from Banashankari
Wore jewels and assorted junkery.
When someone asked why,
She said, "Simple. I
Just want to ensnare a hunk ri."

Raj Saxena, while at Forum
Would never maintain decorum.
When they'd throw him out,
He'd scream and shout.
Once he even pulled off his jeans and tore 'em.

Does this story have a moral?
Visual, tactile or aural?
Or a heart-rending
Rhyming ending?
No, it doesn't.

44 comments:

Poojitha said...

hohohoho... reminded me a tad bit of our gr8 poet TR...

i guess ur appointment with NIMHANS went on well..u seem to have recovered very well... :P ..no matter wat..loved "koshys" verse...d best one of the lot..

gradwolf said...

oh dear biker dood
what's occupying your brood
i see it's again about bangalore
no wonder, you are so good

nrimaami said...

En ri
Nim Poetry
Namgae Laugh Banthu
But Why Avarugae Death Banthu?

RustyNeurons said...

The bestest!! I enjoyed it like no other :)
Hail BD.

a million different people said...

Super, I love rhyme meter. :D

See see see
That's not Bruce Lee
I'll try and stop
Before someone smashes my desktop

Anita said...

ammaadi...!!!..what beautiful poetry I say...keep it yup!

narendra shenoy said...

I don't want to flatter you or anything, but you're right up there with Wordsworth, Tennyson and company.

I'm tempted to write verse but I wait
Bikerdood's a tough one to emulate
I don't think I could near
His standards if I drank beer
Even an entire Kingfisher crate.

Pri said...

bwahahahahahahaha. wattay beauty drawing i say! are those electric shocks coming out of her aunty chappals? also do you still get 100rupees and a basket of fruits if you recommend someone to nimhans?

10yearslate said...

Nummooraag-ree-sir, Durgad-bayl naag kooth mosar maaro muduki-yaar-ann nim bagge keLidhr hing heLovr-ree

(In our town-sir-sir, Durgad bayl (name of central market) sitting curds selling grannies about you asked, like this saying-sir)

Free from flashiness,
free from trashiness
Is the essence of bikerdudiness.
Rich, original, rash and rational
Stands the monument bikerdudenal!

(With apologies to Morris Bishop, who crops up often in the literary discussions of our curds-sellers)

A.S. said...

Both the poetry and the pictury are brilliant, but I'm afraid I'm not able to match the two-- I thought the Yettanother boy became mentory retarded... but the girl who ate his book is being dragged away by the NIMHANS guy.
My favourite one is the first stanza and the ending is of course lovely.

Harishhh said...

Ha ha! Brilliant! Your verse-t ever? :P

Bikerdude said...

Many Tyanks ppls, for the nice (and mostly undeserved) comments. This was velha blog and cartoon and not meant to make any sense (except to the little man in my medicine cabinet ie.). But now I will answer doubts on behalf of the above:

poojitha: Aye what I say. Though that sort of explains the current hairstyle I have now, I suppose :P

gradwolf, a million different people,narendrashenoy: Thanks! :) One more try pls do.

nrmimami:Solpa adjust maadi, have kindly removed reference to the above upon kind instructions from you.

rustyendrineeshwari devi, anita: thanks i say :)

pri: oh very sorry for not making them gold and zirconium encrusted aunty chappal. No fool they are supposed to be scratch marks on floor made by stiletto heels due to being dragged away by NIMHANS fellow. Last time some paamb is coming to bite or something you thought thu. NO I think nowadays they only will charge your cell phone for free using shock therapy machine in exchange for recommendations.

10years: Heheh yenra sahebra, yello wogbutryena? (Tumkur)

a.s.: Thanks :) Yes due to the mentor (who's the girl being dragged away) being retarded, the boy is mentorry retarded. You follow? Aaaaaaan. PS In case you're not from Blr, NIMHANS = Mental Hospital.

harishhh: Thanks- and yes, undoubtedly.

kavitha said...

yettanother baai gets my vottu
for he is so hawttu! :p

your poetry got me orey the pullarichifying. pliss to xcuse after effects! :D

Anonymous said...

There was a biker called dood
Who got into a poetry mood
For better or worse
He spewed out verse
And his fans totally aprood

Epiphany said...

What bewty, what elegance...just brilliance I say...no seriously..this saved my very lousy day...thanks dude! :)

Phani said...

Love d way u write.. subtle subramnium has made my day .. givingaccess to tamizhpenn's rambling n ur rightful insights of namma bengaluru!!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

okay. this should win the blogging pottery award

Sunil said...

You are nuts!

snippetsnscribbles said...

Delurking-u and first time commenting illi :-)))
Cudnt stop lafing! I enjoy your pictures totally :D Hilarious!!

And the verse is ....suuuuper-u!!!

weed said...

yengayoo poitayngu saaru!
you haff gone off very verry fawrrr!
while on the topic of poetry i found the vyalikaval iyengar bakery and the cashew biscuits!
oo hoo hoo! :)

anoushka taraporevala said...

oh boy now see what you have done. inspired a whole spew of poetry!
some coincidence but i penned this yesterday about a particularly crabitty colleague when he opened his mouth to talk of his travel travails and bashed it off to other colleagues:

Listen listen to the travails

Chidiya is narrating tales

Of brave deeds done

And many hardships borne

He is a God among males

=======================

Siri said...

Raj Saxena, Koshys and Banashankari girls in the same piece? Oh someone get me a chair. I feel a little funny. *wheeze*

Sumi said...

Bikerdude,

Great poetry! madras lla dhan veyil romba jaasthi nnu sonna, B'lore llayum romba veyil adikaradha??? Just kidding, as always enjoy reading your blog, although this is the first time I leave a comment! Enjoy maadi!

nigel jeejeebhoy said...

bikerdude:

there is an undercurrent about 'banshankri girls' that i am not quite getting. its been a while since i have been in bangalore and what is this banter about banshankri girls?

Prats said...

Seems like you're advocating short pieces on BengaLuru publicity....

All peoples you have put in here....Raj, Saxena, call center, banashankari...wah!!!!
But heart rending ending??????? you even thought of giving one???

mem said...

how does one gain some blogging street cred
why ill write a poem! he said
some lines will rhyme, some will not
it will have call centres, globalization and all things that sort,
ill put in some noses and noises for that touch of comic
for all that it did turn out quite slick
soo to be made into big banner multi starred flick

mem said...

by which i mean hahahhaha very funny

Therestlessquill said...

heh heh... funny :) really. Masala doshys -- oh no! :)

Gugi aka Gogoush said...

OMG hey bhagwaan,
wat poetry is this maan?

you are bored it is apparent,
a new venture needs your talent.

come here help me find a house,
your poetic ardour it will douse.

the rents and steep and places are few,
and no gum in this town can you chew.

Miss Mew and you and Kuts along,
make a trip before too long.

(mwah)

Bikerdude said...

kavitha: heheh mad. thanks :)

anonymous: aha poetry raja/rani you are i say.

epiphany: glad my nonsense was of service i say :P

phani: Thanks! ATP is a class apart altogether :)

cynic in wonderland: haan correct, no? Give, give. lol

sunil: Not me da, the little man in my medicine cabinet is. I means full with the program I am. Ok? ok.

snippetsnscribbles: Thanks! Yes I also rather proud of skid marks in picture heh heh.

weed: Ahem, the thanks I say! Oh you founda? very good. at some 5 or so hot hot he will make and give. how it was

anoushka: Very nice I say. But not fair, borne is not rhyming with done. Please to trying again.

siri: Gaaaaaaahahahaha gotcha. Drink neer majjige and adjust off no?

sumi: Illing medom, inge maley wandhit keedhngo. Rembo nella weatheru. Or trip pot paarungo :) Thanks for the comment!

nigel: Gaaahaha. We shall wait for Siri to defend her banashankarocity. Once she wakes from her faint ie :)
PS: No undercurrent and all. Banashankari girls are nice, sweet goody two-shoes people that go to ganesha temple every friday. Some wear gejje (anklets) and jeans with long jadey(plat) and mallige hoo (jasmine) in thale (head). Some say barey ma hogey ma (aye come yaaan, aye go yaaan). But those are only some. All the cool girls (not that the above aren't) belong to the category of 'the others' :P Understoodaa? Woaaakay.

prats: yes ma, like oscar wilde's stories, I wanted to kill them all off but I took off pity no? poor things after all.

mem: ahem, excellent worrk I say, keep it up!! hehe

therestlessquill: Actually koshys doesnt serve doshys but ahwell who's counting :P

gugiiiiiiiii: Aha what a poetry I say! Yes yes coming only. Onn nimit you give off :P

Scribbler said...

See, since Koshy's doesn't serve doshy's, I'm not surprised the waiter glared at the man.

(Unable to rise to poetic heights... er... depths... errr. whatever)

I am sure I have met this Raj Saxena also. Nasty bugger.

Americatamizh said...

Very funny....

There once was a dude named Biker
His poems proved 'oh what a slacker!'
Fake words that rhyme--
surely this is a crime.
How he got away; I am not able to say.
But just like some Salmagundi, it did stir up my kundi.

:)

Bikerdude said...

scribbler: hehe yes i'm sure you've met at least a 1000 clones of raj saxena in forum going "yaar vods this bunglaur yaar"

americatamilkutty: err little too much california sun aa? thanks though (i think!)

NK said...

Dude ....... Where are you??? Why no posts especially since a lot seemed to have happened in Bengalore - opening of the new Bengaluru airport, elections, a new CM, etc, etc. I WANT the inside story!!!! :)

Somebody Else said...

Oh Oh, Oh, I'm expected to stand up for the Banashankari types? Stand up and be counted? Stand up, anyway?

Because this has been an immeasurably irritating day, I shall.

Primarily, just what is wrong with barey/hoge ma, gejje, long plaits and mallige hoovu? Especially when vouched for with undiluted sincerity and doing it the only way we know is much better than ACCENTuating among other things, gejje and mallige huvu, with and in manners characteristic of the torpor found in a CCD somewhere near Sadashivnagar?

The cool ones are from where? Srirampura, I assume(I wonder where that is, hmmm...)

If the above mentioned tokens of Banashankarocity are solely Banashankari Girls domain, what do people in Jaynagar do? Giggle too much and talk to guys at Cool Joint while smiling stupidly?(Which they do, trust me, I know) Maybe you are right, after all. This whole characteristica thing works.

So what of the girls in Malleshwaram? Saunter around in Jimmy Choos on 8th cross and haggle over overpriced mallige hoovu at street corners? Or eat Idlis at sundry joints just so to come out dripping with Nostalgia? "Wow. That's the best benne dose I ate in years. What do you mean what's for lunch? Why! lobster ravioli and cornwall pasties and potatoes, of course."
(I'm doing this profiling thing rather well, no? Doctor BD? huh? huh?)
Banashankrocity or not, when we go to X Darshini, we eat idlis cos they're yum. Not because we believe we are partaking in some ceremony of historic significance. History, Histrionics etc are someone else's mainstay, as it were. For a Banashankaricious local, loving home needn't mean taking digs at other unsuspecting denizens, appropriated by our own insecurities as 'counterparts', requiting 'putting in place' etc. So no, We won't say we have a bigger, better MTR(Assuming Banashankari is just a witting misnomer for all of South Bangalore, which is, I admit, a different landscape, from the other Bangalores) for other TRs ahem you've got.

So, anyway, digs aside, blogger to blogger,bigot to bigot, what is it BD saar(note sincere Bsk accent. Oh and please, I don't mind your veritably genuine New England drawl, at all!)? Some relationship gone sour? Some matrimonial alliance where gaNas didn't match?
Girl was from Bsk aa? Che! Why trawl around there for brides, in the first place?

Let me speculate one tiny bit and presume with my impeccable worldly knowledge and experience that all girls from M'wram and thereabout chose only Raj Saxenas and their cumulative cousin population? Over bikers? and tams? bengaluru hudugas?

Oh MY GOD!

Bikerdude said...

nk: bande bande, talu :)

somebodyelse: Glad you got that off your..umm.. chest ma, repression rukmini. Sleep, sleep :)

playbyrules said...

poetry and so much discussion aa?. you should hold poetry reading sessions and make THE HINDU cover it.
p.s: the lack of coverage on the malleswaram underpass,its trials and tribulations in your BBMP series has been highly disappointing.
@ somebodyelse- we malleswaram peoples swear by bata , with an occassional visit to nike, jimmy choo is for recent imports living in mantri.

Prats said...

Fully agree with playbyrules...what happened? no coverage of malleswaram circle underpass...che, full neglected saar....the area....

oh Mantri peoples wear Jimmy Choos a?? oh oh...I only thought all roadside corner shop sandals for style...

Anonymous said...

digging noshy at koshy, while waiting for masala doshy eh? y? masala less? ok i think ive just disgusted yeverryone!!
still looouw u! keep it uping ma..

Americatamizh said...

hey hey, dont knock the california sun. its the perfect amount of heat. Not burning like Madras, not humid like Cochin... and what hasnt got to my head. Perhaps your blog is to blame for all this nonsense! :P

Bikerdude said...

playbyrules, prats: (a) Kindly purchase me one flat in mantri. (b) What are Jimmy Choos? Please note I am 100rs mejeshtic chappal buyer. Bata geeta and all dunno.
Flyover kade hoge illa pa. Whats going on there? Last time I went it was like village mela with all traffic blocked. I had gone to eat mudde saaru in halli mane.

also, siri and somebody else and all other BSK vaasis that want to kill me: For the record, I love BSK (II stage even). Besides, I am more baarey ma hogey ma type than anyone else. Would have worn gejje mallige hoo also but I am gents. So dont get all hot under the collar and scream South bangalore murder. BecauseI am very nice fellow actually. OK na? Oaaakay ma. Ok.

anonymous: ahem- thanks :)

americatamizh: Hello please give yourself a shoddu on head for calling this nonsense. Harumph.

Somebody Else said...

Damn. Don't you hate it when they take to the old snubberoo when you concentrate alll your efforts at provoking a comment-fight? Che.

Still, its okay pa, we are not offended. We blogrolled you anyway. And stop making fun of the Bata showroom in Bsk 2nd stage that we swear by. I bought nice sandals that go with my shiny new gejjes. Hoge ma playbyrules, There is a Mantri in Jayanagar also. We're so cool.

But I'd stilll like an answer to that question. Where all this distaste roots from, I say? Don't tell me it's the fashion sense, unless Bikerdude really is Wendell Rodericks or something.

Yours
Repression Rukmini

rambodoc said...

Dude,
Long time no talk. This was one outstanding post, BTW.
Please take up the cudgels for Bangaloreans wrt a meme. Details back home at mine.

Prashant said...

There once was a Bangalore Blogger,
Who inspired an American jogger,
To write his own poem,
And when he went home,
His sorrows were drowned in a lager.

Huge fan of limericks ;-)