Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Odes to Bangalore

To the tune of: Yesterday (The Beatles)
Mathikere..
Far as hell and dull as dust, but hey..
Would you rather choke on smog, or say
You're glad you live that far away?

To the tune of: You fill up my senses (John Denver)
Chud-dies, con-tact lennnnses,
Butter Gulkand, Black Forest.
Its always shop-ping time
On Malleswaram, 3rd main.
Stop at Asha's for dessert
Where milk tastes like hand lotion.
The '98 census
Showed alarming brain drain.

To the tune of: Jamaica Farewell (Harry Belafonte)
Sat-ur-day,
I wanna party away
MG Road is teeming with angry cops.
You look as hip
As a fashion clip
But at midnight your party is gonna stop.
We can't stay and play,
What is this, I say?
This rule will stay for many a day.
Just simmer down,
Stop hoppin around
And bring the party to my pad at the edge of town.


To the tune of: Country Roads (John Denver)
Migrant haven - Koramangla
Flats with fountains
By a sewage river.
Land is gold there, not so much the trees
A hundred Jacarandas
Mowed down 'fore you sneeze.
Bumpy roads, spell your tome
Not the place, to sing a song
Koramangla - money corner,
I'm staying home, won't miss you loads.

To the tune of: California Dreaming (The mamas and the papas)
Oh to Frazer town,
You shall go away.
Go take a wa...lk,
To Thom's bakery, I say.
The cakes are fresh and warm,
Made at 4 every day.
Should I send you screaming,
Or will you go to-day?

To the tune of: Take it easy (The Eagles)
Oh if youre really very bored
Just hit DVG Road
But just tell me what is on your mind.
Looking for some flowers?
The kem-pe-gowda towers?
There's V.B if you wanna dine.
What's up duuudey?
Are you a fooodie?
Lets get a nice fat benne-dose, outside U.D.
Just get here in a car or van,
Or on a horse with a wedding band
Because it's great in the far off land
Of Basvangoooodi.


Cartoon Translation: "Where will you run now?" (Pun on the word 'Odu' = run)

48 comments:

mem said...

its actually brilliant...hosw well the words fit the tune

Mo said...

Hhehehhhe.
Not sure the last time i laughed this hard.

Ga-Joob said...

Brilliance!! :)

Mohan said...

Now I have to go and listen to those songs to find out the tunes :-)

Cindy/Snid said...

Could almost see the Karaoke flashing before me...!

maami said...

Real gems.You really love the city, don't you?

Hakuna Matata said...

Dhool! :D

mwmnostalgia said...

This post is brilliant and so is the rest of your blog!.Couldnt stop till i read all the posts.brought back great times.
I cannot believe someone is actually writing odes to good old Malleshwaram.!Thank you!

Penguin said...

Saashtang pranaam machi! What a post!

plush said...

*whistle whistle* sooper!

Guru said...

that was sooper... really loved the post

Bikerdude said...

All: Thanks very muchly, for the lauly comments I say!

maami: yeah i sorta do :P

mswmnostalgia: Hoon math-alde! It is the part of Bangalore closest to my heart (aside from the subcutaneous fat accumulated from eating one benne masale too many at CTR ie) :P

Prats said...

aiyyoooo....after typing long comment, it just went kaput.....full jacaranda trees thara..
But brilliant ....you should do PR for Bengaluru I say...super...but u forgot our food street in vv puram ....the choice of songs fulto fantastic.....best one about Koramangala....looks like you louv it very much.. :P

rj said...

wow man.. that is completely hilarious!

most of the songs mentioned are / used to be my favorites. Though they have been massacred beyond their recognition.. they are still master pieces! :D

kavitha said...

lovely i shay! :)

all your odes to Bangalore makes me wanna explore the city. Some day i will.

Spunky Monkey said...

Do you really louvve Koramangala? Aww, do you live there, or does someone shpeshul live there?

I know somebody who does.

kavitha said...

oh forgot to mention --your illustrations are just AWESOME! :)

narendra shenoy said...

Brilliant!

Ajay said...

With the last blog I thought it cant get any better..but u keep proving me wrong... This vone ees fulll caamdy I say...

I particularly liked th eone on Basvangooodi and Malleshwaram...

Cant wait to read the next better blog (and to see u online)

RustyNeurons said...

coming just at the right time, when i am feeling all saari for leaving the place :(

playbyrules said...

applause saar!!!*in malleswaram thatkari sellers' baritone*

anoushka taraporevala said...

brilliantly brilliant. you should be a spokesperson for your city. tourism minister or somesuch.

thank you for being bangalore to a lot of people.

now that the cat is outta the bag, yes, i did inform n about your blog.....

Bikerdude said...

prats: Yes solpa gas out agoythu after 5 songs. Yes I love Koramangala with an unrivalled passion. So unrivalled that I have visited it 6 times in all my life :P

rj: Thanking you Yours massacredly.

kavitha: Heh ok, let me know if you need some more travel tips on Kyatsandra, Lottegollahalli 14th phase, V.V.S.B.S.U.M Shastry layout etc.

spunky monkey: Yes yes dearly I do. Especially when I hear random musical conversations like "Abbe B*&^*&^t, Koraa-mangley mein kya kar raha hai tu? Pidzze khane chalein?"

kavitha: ayyo thanks ma. prefering to draw than write actually but useless readers like rustyneurons (ammowr, pls note) will not agree.

narendra: thanks!

ajay: adh yaako synchroniz'e aagthilla shiwa. Just wait a day for three day and we will do the needful okna?

playbyrules: "Aa hurlikai sauthekai nuggekaai balekayi Yeldrrrrup (2rs) tagolree, yenidhu?" Thank you thank you :)

anoushka: Aha so it *was* you then :) I'm a Bangalore ambassador from hell, evidently!
Excuse pls but I don't buy nigel's cousin story. What it is going on childrens? Wink wink nudge nudge. Kindly reveal all.

Bikerdude said...

rusty: Ayyo papa. Full permint aag hogthideerenri? Neev baroshtothge I think the current traffic chitranna will be all better, so thats something to look forward to. PS: Myaagin comments nalli nimma bagge tumba camplimentary aag bardiddene, odhi :P And also Allinda blog madings daivits!

PREETI said...

really nice...!

btw...guess i cud start learnin kannada frm ur postz... ;)

moody crab said...

saar, chindhi.. :D

Harishhh said...

sooper sakkat bombaat chindi!!
ayyo estu hoglskotya guru! ninge sustaagakilvaa antini?! :P

anoushka taraporevala said...

biker dude: nothing to tell, ma. but you sure are trying to turn the tables. wink wink nudge nudge

anoushka taraporevala said...

biker dude: nothing to tell, ma. but you sure are trying to turn the tables. wink wink nudge nudge

Empress said...

Simbly brilliant I say!

Roopa said...

Dashed brilliant, old boy, as always. Here's my own ode - to a venerable (well, it's only about a dozen years old, but in the new, improved, 'yesterday-is-so-passe' Bengalooru, 'venerable' seems about right) Bengalooru institution.

CCD
(sung to the tune of Lennon's 'Imagine')

Imagine there was no CCD,
It’s very hard to do,
No place for a guy to put kai, Lor’,
In full puhhh-blic view.
Imagine all the peopuhllll
Drinking only filter kaaf-eee
oo-hoo-hoo-oo-oo

You’re right – I have CCD fever
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day-ay-ay you will join us
For mochachillo-oh-oh under the Benglooru sun

Fark said...

bikerdude!

Awesome post. I gotta try some of them out on the guitar now and see how it sounds! How have you been man? I took a huge break,but am back now!

http://farkandfunk.wordpress.com/

Kavitha said...

lol..sure will on my next trip to desh maybe this summer :)

Bikerdude said...

preeti: Es commaan I say. Full PhD you will get off in 1 month :P

moodycrab: tyanks ri.

harishh: kanditha illa :) Thumba tyanks for nice things said I say!

anoushka: Ok ok sorry. I thought little bit solpa something was in the air. i will ask off Nigel in private then :)

roopa: Wah wah excellent I say! Please to posting more. Full I sang in middle of office.

fark: Uff full guitar and all eh? Best of luck I say :) Thanks for stopping by- and welcome back!

kavitha: good good come come.

Roopa said...

Thanks dude, but how in heaven's name did you actually manage to sing it? Such execrable metre it has, even if I do say so meself...

PREETI said...

PhD or not i dno, as long as i cn understand the kannada u use in ur posts, aduveee podum! ;)

Preeth said...

Stamp of class brother.Big time enjoyed it.

Chamki said...

extremely funny

Bikerdude said...

roopa: Full chakachaka I sang off portions that had too many words and stretched off places that had too few. What is there lovely it was.

preeti: Heh awrite. Will write more such nonsense soon then.

preeth: Thanks boss. Macha you weren't by any chance in tavern last Wed were you? Zoned out as I normally am, I thought I saw someone who looked like your pic in there.

chamki: Oh you also came off aa? SO nice I say. Thanks!

Ranjini said...

i have no idea how i got to your blog, but your license ordeal had me rolling on the floor and laughing (hotte hidkondu :-) i've been through a similar ordeal, so i kinda have an idea. hope the donuts were worth it thames man :-)

Roopa said...

Fwded the bengaloorubanter link to homesick-for-kannada-thayiya-madilu brother (andre, 'own' brother-u)in Cape Town. He's visiting next month, so told him this would put him in the mood for nammooru like nothing else would. Cut-pasting his response here:

This guy is hilarious, I haven’t laughed out loud reading something in a long time....loved his slang dictionary and everything else for that matter..

See http://bengaloorubanter.blogspot.com/search/label/Kanglish and look up AJM under that (brilliant, I had completely forgotten about it all these years)…its a mark that he has just the beedi naayi sensibility that makes him such a bondu (cool dude aka james bond)

-End

I did check out the link, realised I had never heard of AJM. Obviously, I belong to a much more exalted species than beedi naayi. And ok, ok, all right, will stop clogging up your comment box with long verbose messages. Wot to do, old school type, can't do these pithy ones - okayyyyyy, stop already!!!

Roopa said...

As an afterthought, brudder adds:

-Begin-

I must say his blog is refreshing in a personally impersonal way.

This especially after I had near given up on reading blogs assuming that people who write them are afflicted with this strange American disease of needing to narrativise the most mundane details of one’s life for a faceless audience and the need to consume arcane facts about the lives of absolute strangers and worse still have animated and near violent interactions with all kinds of arbit people in cyberspace.

Big Brother, Survivor, facebook, e-groups, chat rooms etc. seem to be the manifestations of this perversity BUT,

then there are blogs like this, not at all self involved, hilarious and not some ‘watch me psychoanalyse myself’ thing. Love it love it love it….thanks for introducing me to it.

-End -

It appears verbosity is a familial disorder.

nigel jeejeebhoy said...

Enough, already.
A new blog is overdue.

d SINNER!!! said...

:) this blog is fun....

Bikerdude said...

ranjini: thanks! yeah yeah totally worth it :)

roopa: Yappa so sweet i say full to brother and all you are forwarding. This is the dort of verbosity that I completely approve off :) Thanks muchly, you two!

nigel: yes yes coming coming!

d sinner: Thanks :)

FreaKick said...

24 years in this city and I am still Luving it

Nilma said...

aaah... suuuoooofffeeer i say!! :P (kannadiga accent) its bloody brilliant (local kannadiga-wannabe-brit accent) been here all my life and loved every bit of it... my childhood in north bangalore... and adolescence in east/south bangalore... its all so different but still the same :)

p.s. the different takes in accents was my dual self (to be and wannabe) in bengalooru/bangalore

Neha said...

wonderful!! :D