Thursday, October 11, 2007

Monsoons on Moore Road

" 'Ey Clyde! Just 'eard de good news chy.. c'ngraats. "

"Thanks men, whe'yall went? I came 'ome last week but y'all weren't dere. "

"I was in Austrailyer chy, visiting Jo's brudder'n' 'is huncles. "

"Ah, say so! I was so 'fraid y'all ran off widdout telling me even. "

"G'on m'n, 'ow I'll go widout telling y'all. 'Ere only I'll stay until y'all drag me off. Hey what chy, I 'eard 'Arriet's come first in music 'n' all? Give 'er my love, no? What she'll do now? Litrachur ein?"

"No m'n, Im tellin'er to take up Cannadda. Never know when dey'll make it a bloomin' first language 'ere and land all of us in a bloomin' mess. "

"I know chy'. If y'ask me, dey should send us all 'ome and speak Cannadda till dey turn blue in de face. Dose Tumkur blue grapes are dere no? Laddat. "

"Whae' m'n. Hopp'tunities are much more now 'ere no, wid call centerz 'n'all 'iring like nob'dy's bloomin bizness. We c'n teach dose blighters a ting or two. "

"True chy. No point goin'way anymore. 'Appy we're 'ere only. "

"'Ey whats 'appning to de city m'n? 'Sbeen raining cats 'n' dogs all week! Miranda's 'ouse is c'pletely flooded, poor thing. Bluddy raining, raining all de bloomin' time. Never used t'be like dis in Bangalore b'fore, no? Gets me hangry whenever I tink about it. "

"No point gettin' hangry wid the rain chy. F'get it. 'Ow dose bloomin' corporation buggers've f'gotten our Seppings Road no, laddat. Umbrella y'ant eh? "

"No m'n, whats de use, I'm already soaked like a bluddy spongecake even. Hevvry day 's' bin raining m'n, like bloomin' Cherrapunji. "

"I know chy. If y'ask me, we should change the name of Roger's Road to River's road I swea'. You sh'look at 'ow much water's c'llected dere. "

"I swea'. Dat Lloyd's dere no, in Hulsoor, tell'im to repai' 'is boat 'n' bring, we c'n row down de street hevery Sunday. "

"Ey by de way, I 'eard Jake's got a new job 'n' all? "

"No men, 'oo'll give 'im a job. But I swear, 'f 'e doesnt get one soon, 'e'll 'ave it from me. What 'e thinks, dis is a bloomin' soup kitchen or what. I'll give him two bluddy uppercuts on 'is kidneys and kick 'is bloomin bottom out of d'ouse 'f'e doesn't find a job soon."

"What chy, 'e's only 25 no, littl'un 'e is. Let 'im find 'is hown feet first chy. Den y'all c'n 'dvise 'im."

"But I'm so 'fraid m'n. 'E's getting into bad company wid all these Cannadda boys from college. Dunno whe' 'e's 'eaded, dat boy. Praying hevrryday 'e doesnt become like dat Leslie bugger men. Sitting shamelessly at 'ome wid his mudder. "

"Whae' chy, 'is mum wants 'im dere no? 'Oo'll look hafter 'er udderwise. All dese old biddies no, clever dey are. If y'ask me, dey should all sudd'ly dis'pear from de planet in a puff of smoke. 'Ow dose Thoms' mutton puffs dis'pear after Sunday mass no, laddat. "

"Krekt, I swea'! Hokay m'n, come by at Christmas ein? And give my love to Lizzie, Ralphie and Hannabel."

"Cert'ly. Y'all coming f'de wedding no? "

"G'on chy, has if we'll miss it! G'bye, God Bless. "

"G'bye!"

20 comments:

Thoppai mama said...

Outside the convent school when I was a chokra boy.

'Ey, ey, we'll buy pargihaNN only?

No men, mummy won't let me.

Go chy'l-e-ba, your blessed mummy won't fin' out.

ok men.

'aen bae PargihaNN heng kotti? (This said in a fine Dharwad-Hubli rough drawl)

'naakaaNe gumpi'

'2 gumpi hatth paisa kodtheeyo heng'

'2 saaka, inna baekaa, bis-bissiyagi?'

'ey, give 'er the four anne-s and le's go men.

go men, you and your bushy bushy tail.

'ey, 'ey sister Responsa's coming only..soon man.

'Hoomm..hogli naakaNeg 2 gumpi kod bae!

??! said...

eh wha' bugger, men. tha' was too bluddy byootiful, men. swear on my bloody grandpappy's grave.

Preeth said...

supera sollite man. This almost brings out the Austin Town in me, I tell you :)

bindu said...

What man BD,
wass this "Chy" thing man ?
Like they keep on saying it like its
jingle bells man..

Cud u tranzlat plz for BSK peeple ?

Yen hagandre , daiveetu vishyada khulase madbeedi Saaar

Pri said...

@bindu: chy = child

@bd: why you had to go remind me of mutton puffs i say? eediot fellow.

RustyNeurons said...

One observant lot you are!

Bikerdude said...

thoppai mama: Boss, this is fantastic!!! Anglo Indian with a Dharwad twist! Amazing! I DEMAND a blog now. Otherwise I will call you thoppul baava for the rest of your life. Choice is yuvar.

?!! Thanks men. What chy, we modern day Frazer towners don't swea' dat much no? Whae y'all are from? :)

Preeth: Tanks ma. Namma Austin town tamila 'naathku centre-le iyukkure man :)

Bindu: BSK bitbittu Frazer town ge movings madi. Saaku alli madpanche udkondu odadiddu. Pri is right by the way (being dyed in the wool Cantonment type and all).

prikutty: Same to same mutton puff available in Portuguese restaurant men. Go try off.

rustyneurons: Yenri sudden waking from dead aa? Very good, welcome!

RustyNeurons said...

Illa ssaar... I always read your posts! You see, yours was my 'first' favorite blog!
I dont leave comments ONLY when I have no clue about the subjects you are talking abt (like music!) :))

Mrs. 'Enry said...

'ow y'all are gabbing so krekt n'all mn? Y'all are also from KGF aa?

Thoppai mama said...

"Saaku alli madpanche udkondu odadiddu. "

Ayyo swami..biddu biddu nakke adhanna kaeLi.

Chikk vayassnalli pakkada mane Jayatirtha-na manege brahmachari bhojanakke hodaga kaeLi baro maathu!

Adhirli..aen saar ishtondhu hogaLike nanage! Naachike baro haage maadtheera!

Aaythu..isht kaeLtheera anda mele blog baredhae bidtheeni.

Spunky Monkey said...

Varry varry nice, I say. Funnyboy.
I don't know these Anglo-Indian types. I am SO the South Bangalore boy, it makes me feel like villager types only.

pepe M. said...

:)
my tounge is a bit paralyzed after yur entry dude...hehehehe

Bikerdude said...

rusty: Uyyo so sweet i say :)

mrs 'enry: 'ow y'all guessed so krektly mn? My mum's from KGF. Sh'all only taught me t'gab li'dis.

thoppai mama: Yaaaaay!! Finally. PS I forgot to ask you: What is PargihaNN, what is gumpi and what is chy'l-e-ba? And PPS: Loved the 2 saaka inna beka bis-bisi? hehe can just imagine an old crotchetty kadlekai lady saying that!

spunky: Neveraa? Whaaaat I say. Unfortunately there are are very few original Anglo Indians left in Blr. The rest moved to Austrailyer in the 70s. I seriously think Blr owes a lot to the Anglo Indians for its beautiful, laidback, yet hip culture.

pepe: Haha good, now you know atleast one south indian language :)

Fark said...

BD,

Nicely done chy !

Thoppai Mama said...

Dharwad Kannada glossary:

PargihaNN: This is a small dark skinned berry slightly bigger than a peppercorn. Is largely stone covered by thin tart-sweet flesh. Haven't seen it anywhere else in India other than Dwd-Hubli. Sorry, don't know the English for it.

Since it is so small, the crotchetty old ladies sold it by the (small) moundful, a.k.a gumpi.

CHy'l-e-ba is the perfect amalgam of Indianised English, specifically localised.

Child+aaay (as in the wonderfully vernacular 'aaay sooLi magana')+'ba (as in the marathi honorific for a lady)

Krish Ashok said...

Bikerdude
Thoppai Mama is in another league altogether. Why waste one's talent in a single blog when one can be the mustard, jeeragam, karuveppalai and perungaayam in every blog :)

Bikerdude said...

fark: Thanks :)

TM: Boss! Ooba ooba only! (Tribal suppication) Phew. What a complexity. And pls fill in necessary details in the latest blog I say, thanks.

KA: Youre totally right. But now I want Karuvepillai Thohaiyal (sp?) with all those ingredients in one blog. TM, commaan I say.

Scribbler said...

Clearly not the same sort of accent, but as a true blue Bandra girl from Bombay, I have to leave my mark in the comments section here: Putru men bugger.

kivina said...

BD - I overheard several very similar conversations while traveling from Jabalpur to Bangalore recently.

Had to re-read this post - bloomin' 'ilarious,chy!

incognito.immaculate said...

Ayioo.. 'ow you made me laff off chail... You bleddy spoke of so nice nicely in Britis English Chail... Like all the Missy's of Austin Town..